its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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