i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
