drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
