i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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