Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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