We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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