Your mouth is God's brothel.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
