hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
