hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
