This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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