Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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