Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
