I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
