I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
