Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
