I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Please don't give away my fajitas
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
