at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
