im drinking this country out of the recession.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
