There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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