I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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