i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
