chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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