OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
