Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
