While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
