We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
