Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
