Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
