life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
NoShamevember. You game?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
there is glitter all over my balls
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
