I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
