Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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