We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
