So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
wow bdsm is so cute
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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