hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
