Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
