love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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