Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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