It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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