How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
