hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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