D3 body, D1 cock
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
