He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
