You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
