Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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