I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
