You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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