I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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