You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize