someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
