I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
