the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Randomize
